


Over again

by yaritai



Category: One Direction, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne - Fandom, louis tomlinson/harry styles - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad Louis, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, body image issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 16:42:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaritai/pseuds/yaritai
Summary: Sometimes endings meant the start of new beginnings. And even though louis knows fairy tale endings do not exist in real life, he cannot help but find himself falling for the boy with the unruly curls and the green eyes.





	1. Chapter 1

 

It had been months since the last time he felt this way. Or maybe he had gotten so good at hiding it ,that no one questioned it anymore. He knew he had to tell someone, knew he couldn’t let the people he loved let down again. It was all too much, all too intense like the ocean tides that barely reach the shore . But once it did, it took everything with it. This was what his life had become. This is what he had become. The shell of a person he once was. It felt almost alien to him,the things like happiness and love ,things he once associated with himself or more like things which people associated with him. Somedays he almost felt like the old him, almost felt like he belonged ,almost felt he could breathe again. But those days never lasted long enough and he could feel himself crumbling once again. Find himself all alone in bed,curled up with nothing to hold onto but himself. If only he could erase the things which made him who he was today. If only he ceased to exist maybe things would be better, for him and for the people he loved. If only- before he could let his thoughts take a turn for the worse ,he was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Come in”, he said, almost thankful for the distraction he much needed ,before he could delve further into the darkness of his mind. The door made a creaking noise,as it was opened,with a tiny head popping in from the small opening . “Am i interrupting you or something?”, a small voice asked. “No,of course not love”,he replied, feeling the corners of his lips curve up into a smile when he noticed who the little intruder was. “Come here, sit with me”,he patted the empty spot next to him. He could feel the slight reluctance in the small body that stood in front of his door .”You know I don’t bite”, he added , making the smaller person laugh. “I know”, she replied.He patted the bed once again,letting her know it really was alright. He felt the bed dip with the added weight and smiled at the younger kid. “You know you don’t have to be so cautious around me fizzy, and i really don’t mind you coming here. Actually i must add that i do quite like it when you do”. He could still feel the tiny bit of hesitation left in her ,making him feel as though she still did not quite believe if he actually meant what he said. So he held her small hands in his and gave a gentle squeeze.“Come on now spill. Or else i am going to hold you captive in my room until you do”, he said, the last words spoken in a mocking pirate voice which made her laugh aloud. “You know pirates don’t sound like that”, she said ,still smiling. “Well,they do now”, he replied ,bobbing her nose. “Stop “,she squealed. “Only if you spill your guts,” he wriggled his fingers exaggeratedly making her know his intentions. “Okay, okay”, she managed through her laughter,while being attacked mercilessly by the onslaught of his Tickling .He kept it up until she finally grabbed his hands and shouted at him to stop. “You are terrible”, she said wiping tears from the corner of her eyes. “Well,well,what do we have here?he said in a distasteful voice. Maybe i should give you a proper lesson on how to treat your elders young lady”,he said before trying to tickle her again.” Enough, no more lou”, she half laughed ,half screamed at her brother. “Well alright then”, he said smiling fondly,his eyes crinkling on the sides. He found her smiling back at him. “Mum said you were moving to london for uni?”, she asked tangling their fingers together. “Yeah ,i am”,he replied. He could see her shoulders slump in defeat and it pained him that he couldn’t do anything about it. “It’s not like i am leaving forever you know”, he said, trying to cheer her up. But she still wouldn’t look at him, so he nudged her chin up with his fingers . “And i will be coming back home during the holidays. Might even end up getting gifts for you lot ,fancy ones might i add”, he said making her perk up. “You know i don’t care for the gifts lou”, she said accusingly. “will you really be coming home for the holidays?”, she asked timidly. It really broke his heart seeing his sister like that. It wasn’t their fault he had become like this. It wasn’t anyone’s fault really that he had become this person whom he had come to hate so much. Hell, if he was gonna make his family feel like they were the reason behind him being the person he was today. “Fizzy, you know i wouldn’t survive a year without seeing you guys”, he clutched his heart making an exaggeratedly painful expression which made her giggle. “Believe it or not ,i am too fond of you lot to be getting rid of you so soon. And I promise i will be back as soon as i can or whenever i can”,he said assuring her. “Okay,i believe you lou”, she said smiling shyly. “Do you want me to help you pack?”, she asked, pointing at the bunch of clothes scattered on the floor. “Hmm..well, who am i to refuse such a tempting offer,”he said wiggling his eyebrows,which only made her giggle some more. “Now before i miss my train, would you ,dear lady ,be kind enough to help me pack my belongings?”, he asked bending on one knee ,with his right hand extended towards her. “You know a simple please would have suffice lou”, she said smiling. “So then where do we start ,dear sir?”, she said making a curtsy ,playing along with their little game and making him burst into laughter this time.He loved his family ,he really did and he knew they loved him too. Despite everything ,they had proven they were there for him time and time again. He couldn’t even define how grateful he was for them and that he would do anything or give up everything for his family. He knew somewhere inside him he still had so much love to give. But what he didn’t know was that maybe he needed as much love in return too.

 

He barely made it to the train station . It had been inevitable to be honest,what with all the tears and goodbyes and his siblings clutching onto his shirt for dear life unwilling to let go. He himself had been on the verge of tears but knew it wouldn’t do any good if he started to cry himself. So he had put on a brave front and kissed them all goodbye before telling them he would be back before they could even tell he was gone. He pulled a funny face at the end of his words,knowing it would make them all laugh, and did so until they were giggling ,their tears soon forgotten. He had left then ,giving a final wave before he made his way to the station.

 

He had reached london in the early evening and found himself mesmerised at the bustling crowd infront of him. He had known london was a big city, had imagined it to be,but seeing it in person was as much a shock as it was thrilling. He could see it was getting dark outside and realised he needed to get going if he wanted to reach his destination as soon as possible. He didn’t want to get lost at night. Especially not in an unknown place where he couldn’t ask for help even if he wanted to. Also it didn’t help that It had started drizzling as soon as he left. Sighing he made his way through the crowds.

 

He checked his cellphone for any new messages and smiled when he realised he had gotten one just five minutes before he had gotten down from the train. It was from stan. His childhood friend and his biggest supporter. He knew they would be best of friends from the moment they had first met. They had been together through everything, the good and the bad and he knew louis like the back of his hand. He smiled reminiscing of their times together when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Fancy meeting you here”,he heard a voice behind him say. Are you looking for someone or to be more specific, this handsome person standing right in front of your eyes?”, louis snorted at the cockiness of his friend , making him chuckle. “I heard big cities changed people but I didn’t know they turned them daft too.”he retorted back making the older guy laugh. “It’s nice to see you louis”, stan said.“You too”, he replied,knowing it was the truth. He had missed him. He had missed him a lot and it didn’t help that he had the exact same expression he wore whenever he looked a him. It was full of fondness and adoration like he almost believed louis to be some kind of a gem and it made his skin prickle to be under stan’s intense gaze . “So uni ah?”, stan asked still looking at him,his gaze unwavering.”yeah.. yeah you know get my degree and stuff,be a contributing member of the society “, he tried to mask non chalance. “You a proper gentleman now then?”, stan teased. “Oii!, louis feigned annoyance, i have always been a gentleman, a proper one too might i add”. “And you say i am the one who’s gotten daft,” stan teased some more making louis go into full on laughter. “I missed it,you know”,stan said looking at louis intently once more. He felt himself flushing under his gaze again.Missed what?”, he tried to lighten the conversation. “The sound of your laugh”, before louis could answer to that he got engulfed in an embrace. “And i missed you”, he said hugging him close. “Me too”,louis felt his throat tighten, his words coming out barely as a whisper. He allowed himself to be held like that for how long he didn’t know,the warmth of stan’s strong body seeping through his cold skin. Stan smelled like home and comfort and he didn’t want to let go. Someone cleared their throat then ,making them realise they weren’t alone. “Sorry, got caught up”, stan smiled sheepishly ,putting his perfect teeth on display. “So did i”, he returned his smile almost shy on having been caught for staring for far too long. “Uh.. it’s probably best if you leave now , don’t want you getting lost on the way”,he teased louis generating a giggle from the smaller boy.”you are right, it’s getting pretty dark. Need to hurry up before i lost all sense of direction and end up in a dump”. They started walking towards stan’s car then and stan helped louis put all his luggage in the trunk before handing him the keys. “Be safe okay? “,he said before tucking louis in the driver’s seat. “Thank you for coming to pick me up today and also for lending me your car. I can’t thank you enough stan”, louis told truthfully .He had asked stan if he could borrow his car to drive to uni and he had replied instantly ,letting him know he could anytime he wanted and to let him know if he needed anything else. He couldn’t even put into words how thankful he was for all the amazing people in his life who were always lending him a hand whenever he needed one. He said as much to stan who blushed and shoved him away playfully saying he was being a sap . “Take care of yourself yeah”, stan said hugging him once again. “You know i will”, he returned the hug,burying his head in stan’s broad shoulders. “Just let me know when you reach,” he said breaking the hug. “Do not make me worry you twat, or i swear i will take the first train to your place”. Louis couldn’t help but smile at his friend. He wondered once again What had he ever done to deserve the people in his life he would never know.“Yeah i will ,you old man,now let me get out of here before it gets too dark. Don’t want to get lost before i even start my education”, he winked . “Yeah yeah, now get going before i make you stay over”, he replied making louis snort . They said their goodbyes and he got into the car, revving up the engine and driving away before he could look back and change his mind.

 

It still hadn’t stopped drizzling and he could see few droplets sliding down on his windshield.Dark clouds hovered over the sky, imparting a gloomy appearance to the entire town. It had only been a day and he was missing his family like crazy. Truth be told he knew he was being ridiculous but you couldn’t blame him for being a momma’s boy his entire life. He had always been sheltered, looked after and now that he was left on his own he was a little scared to start anew. The scars from his past were still fresh and he wasn’t sure if they would ever entirely be healed. But he had to try and he knew it wouldn’t be easy. This was what he had decided and he would follow it through. A horn blazed from his right startling him. “You need to move boy, the light is no longer red”, the guy in the front seat of the car said, annoyed. “Oh! I am so sorry, I didn’t realise,” he apologised, turning his car towards the right. “Hmph!,” he heard him answer as he drove past him towards the opposite route. “What an ass”, he mumbled to himself. It wasn’t like he was blocking the way on purpose or something and he might have said as much if he wasn’t in a hurry to get to his destination as soon as possible. He knew he was already an hour late which meant he wouldn’t be able to choose the room of his liking or if the traffic didn’t budge soon, even his own bed. He gave a long sigh before refocusing on the map on his phone. “Well, we will find out eventually, wont we?”,he spoke aloud to himself, before taking another sharp turn.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost a miracle that he found himself in front of the university gate before the closing hours. He had been driving for ages and his whole body ached as if he had run a marathon. He stretched his sides and cracked his fingers,trying to loose the tension. A tall figure was approaching towards his car, umbrella in one hand and a flash light in the other. Before he could make any greetings,the light was flashed onto his face, blinding his vision. “Purpose for visiting “, a gruff voice asked. “Uhmm.. i am a student here”,he replied,partially covering his face with the backside of his hand ,in an attempt to stop the onslaught of light on his eyesight. “And your name?”,the man asked again,still flashing his light on his face. “It’s louis..louis tomlinson”,he replied,exhaustion evident in his voice.”hmm..louis..”,the man went through the thick notebook in his hand,his finger pointing through the letters in the book,eyes squinting in concentration.”ahh!”,he said,finally removing his flashlight. “Freshmen..i see”,he said and made a gesture towards the guard to open the gate. “Let him in..he’s already late as it is”,the man added ,making louis more annoyed than he already felt. With a huff he let his car in. It was pouring heavily now,the slight drizzle having been swapped with fat rain droplets. It was almost impossible to make out the way ahead,and he found himself at the edge of his seat trying to find his way towards the dormitories. There were wooden signboards attached to tall lamp posts with arrows pointed in different directions. He found the one with the “males only” sign and drove his car towards his destination. The room was dark when he opened it,with no signs of anyone having entered before him. He tried to see through the dark but couldn’t make out even the slightest figure. Upon entering he moved his hand around trying to find the switchboard. As he moved past the darkness,he accidentally stumbled over a block and fell with a loud thud. “Man! This day couldn’t have gotten worse,”he spoke out loud to no one in particular. As soon as the words came out of his mouth,the lights came on without any warning blinding him. “What the hell”?!”,he shouted. “Sorry..oops”,he heard someone say from the doorway. “Didn’t realise someone was there.” “By the way,are you okay mate?”,the boy with the deep voice asked. “Yup,i am great”,louis replied sarcastically. “I travelled almost 6 hours on the goddamn train and drove another god knows how many miles and now here i am all drenched and tired and on the verge of having a breakdown”,he replied,his voice rising with each word. - [ ]


End file.
